An Anniversary of Sorts: Reflecting on 16 Years of Writing & Creativity

 

I’m a day late to the party, but this month marked fourteen years since I rebranded my blog — and sixteen years since I began writing original fiction.

In this update, I’m reflecting on my journey as a writer, recent progress on Kiss Me After the Kill, upcoming projects, and the launch of Kindred Creativity Club’s first event of 2026.

It’s been a month of re-entry, reflection, and looking ahead — and I’m feeling more settled and hopeful than ever.

Read the full entry over on my blog at ClareDugmore.com

https://claredugmore.com/blog/an-anniversary-of-sorts-reflecting-on-16-years-of-writing-creativity

Bitten by the Muse: How a Flash Fic Prompt Sparked a Vampire Romance 🦇✨

September brought a few surprises — some expected, some not — but the biggest was this:

I accidentally started writing a vampire romantasy novel.

It all began during the Write Here, Write Now “Rekindle Your Writing Spark!” challenge. One of the prompts — “You know what to do” — led me to write a flash fiction piece starring a morally grey vampire and the woman he just turned. It was dark, sensual, and a little violent... and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Somehow, this prompt collided with my ongoing obsession with Atsushi Sakurai (🖤) and my long-standing love for Anne Rice, and suddenly my brain was screaming:

“Why haven’t you written vampires before?!”

Even my husband was surprised.

At first, I envisioned it as a supernatural thriller with romantic undertones — a sort of “Dexter but with vampire lovers” vibe. But the more I developed the idea, the more I realised this story needed to be a romantasy — romance first, with rich gothic lore and emotionally devastating immortals (you know the kind 💅).

So, I made a decision:
No serialisation. No half-measures.
I’m treating this project — tentatively titled Kiss Me After the Kill — as my next full-length novel.

It’s still early days, but I’m feeling inspired and oddly at peace. Maybe it’s because I’m finally writing what feels most me — fantasy romance, infused with sensual darkness and personal catharsis. And yes, plenty of blood.

I also gave my website a spooky-season makeover (the banner even matches my hair!), and I’m planning to release my spicy snow-elf short, A Winter’s Kiss, in December — more on that soon.

If you want the full scoop — including the flash fic that started it all, how I’m adapting my writing process for my ADHD brain, and a peek behind the scenes of my current projects — the full post is now live on my main blog!

👉 Read the full post here
("Bitten by the Muse: How a Flash Fic Prompt Sparked a Vampire Romance" — includes exclusive writing updates, creative musings, and all the fanged vibes.)

Make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter too — the next issue is going out soon with:

💌 An exclusive preview of Kiss Me After the Kill
🖥️ Digital goodies (wallpapers, quotes, trackers)
🩸 And more gothic romantasy chaos!

'Til next time, stay creative — and a little bit unhinged.

T.T.F.N. (Too Theatrical for Normalcy)

Shiny, Sweaty People - AKA My June Wrap-Up

 

June has been an absolute whirlwind — creatively and weather-wise! While the UK melted under another heatwave (with no air con in sight), I managed to channel that sweaty chaos into some solid writing wins and exciting story developments.

I’ve been deep in revisions for Fractured Loyalties – Act One, working closely with my most trusted (and most handsome) beta reader — Hubby. We’ve been tackling Nola’s arc and refining some of the world-building, especially around the PID, to make things feel even more sinister. It’s been both challenging and energising to revisit this story with fresh eyes after so many versions.

But that’s not all — what started as a short prequel for an anthology has now exploded into two full-length novels! The lore was just too juicy to keep short. I'm calling the series Before the Fracture, and it’s shaping up to be something really special.

June also marked the official relaunch of The Kindred Creativity Club (formerly The Kindred Book Club), with our first event, Creating With Pride, spotlighting amazing LGBTQIA+ indie creatives and raising funds for Stonewall. The response and support were wonderful, and I’ve already made some great new connections.

And then, just when I thought I had enough on my plate, a new plot bunny ambushed me. Imagine a sapphic dark fantasy romance inspired by The Dark Phoenix Saga, Sansa Stark’s arc, the Persephone myth, and the film Labyrinth. That’s Divine Unmaking, and it’s currently consuming my brain in the best possible way.

To keep everything manageable (and my brain from melting), I’ve carved out a flexible weekly schedule where I rotate projects, dedicate time to The KCC, and actually take evenings and weekends off. I’m learning to listen to my ADHD brain and respect its rhythms — whether that means powering through a 6-hour Spotify playlist session or stepping back when I feel blocked or anxious.

If you’d like a more in-depth look at what I worked on this month — including behind-the-scenes updates, word counts, and how I’m balancing multiple projects without burning out — you can read the full post over on my blog:

👉 Click here to read the full June update

Thanks for following along, and wherever you are — stay hydrated, stay creative, and take care of yourself. ❤️

In Search of my Magnum Opus

Greetings Readers!

It feels like ages since I did a proper update, so here it is.

First, I want to thank everyone who supported the release of THE STARLIGHT PRINCE. The book was a long time coming, and as I've previously mentioned, I feel immensely proud of all I achieved by writing it, as much of the process coincided with my autism and ADHD journey.

Even to the last minute, things were hectic, as I pushed back my release by a month to give myself more time to focus on the final developmental edits. And while I was doing that, I had some real-life changes. I won't go into detail, because it's not my story to share, but the TL:DR is my 22-year-old child is back living with us, after almost five years away from home. I hate the circumstances of their return, but I won't lie, it's great having them back!  We're all settling into our new normal now, and my head feels clearer, and I'm more able to focus on writing-related things again.

On the topic of The Starlight Prince, in case you didn't see my previous post, during April, I will be taking part in the A-Z Blogging Challenge. Every day (except Sundays), I'll be sharing excerpts and tidbits about the book. Each day I will choose a commenter at random to receive free digital copies of both The Starlight Prince, and it's prequel novella The Adventures of Josain Jovenne. And there will also be a month-long Rafflecopter giveaway in which you can win a signed paperback copy of The Starlight Prince, and some swag like postcards of the character art I had commissioned.

Reflections: Looking Back and Planning for the Future

Greetings readers!

It seems I'm about a month early in the typical New Year's looking back and planning for the future that many people do at the end of the year. This is a good thing, as the WH, WN Community is starting a new goal-setting event this coming Monday (December 2nd). 

A quick side-note on the WH,WN Community. Karen is currently offering a 'Black Friday' discount which includes: 

*Join for three months for £50 - RRP £60 (Use code SAVE15 at checkout)

*Join for six months for £100 - RRP £125 (Use code SAVE20 at checkout)

*Join for one year for for £196.50 - RRP £262 (Use code SAVE25 at checkout)

 

Now is the perfect time to join, not only for the goal above setting but also for all the fun, new things Karen has planned for 2025. 

 

Anyway, back to the point of this post.

 

A few days ago on my Facebook Memories a 'memory' of the first time I 'won' NaNoWriMo came up. It inspired me to look back on some old blog posts from 2010 when I moved from fan-fiction to original fiction. I loved seeing the hopefulness I had back then, and some of the valuable lessons I learned along the way. Although there have been many ups and downs in the past 14 years, I'm glad to see my passion for writing remains strong.

 

This year, in conjunction with my autism and ADHD diagnosis, and completing ADHD coaching, I feel like I have come far closer to my  'real' self than I have ever been.

 

One of the things I learned about in ADHD coaching is focusing on your 'North Star'. A person's 'North Star' is the values/beliefs/passions that guide them and they couldn't live without.

 

For me, it's the following:

1. Living a good life, with adventures and the people I love
2. Having creative outlets
3. Using my voice to amplify other voices
4. Donating to causes that are important to me
5. Helping Others

How these pertain specifically to my writing career is that my main creative outlet is writing, and I plan to use the money I make from writing to fund not only life with my family and friends but to also donate to causes important to me if I can. My ultimate goal is to create a community of like-minded creatives who come together to encourage, support, and celebrate not only each other but also causes that are important to them. 

I feel like I am already achieving some aspects of this by being part of the WH,WN Community and contributing to charity anthologies etc. Plus donating to other causes (St. Judes etc.)

I also feel like I have made huge strides this year in maintaining focus and motivation towards my goals. I've written 52,000 words on The Starlight Prince, and it's on track for release in February. I wrote and released a 30k words reader magnet. I've participated in two anthologies and one collection, and I've written about ~28k on other projects that may or may not be published in the future.

Edit to add: Holy shit! I just added the total of everything I've written this year, and I've written about 130, 000 words!! Go me!

I've done all this while dealing with various mental and physical health issues.

So, yes, I feel like I have made progress towards my goals and my 'North Star' points. I am very proud of what I've achieved -- especially remaining consistent with TSP, while fitting in other projects to keep the dopamine flowing. 

Before I started ADHD coaching, I used to beat myself up for all my unfinished stories, all the serials etc. I felt I flaked out on. I don't feel like that anymore. I set myself goals, and I achieved them. If there are times I've set aside a story (like The Last Magic Shop) I feel there's been a genuine reason for that.

I feel confident that I've learned enough about how my brain and body work that I can continue with this goal-setting, and working towards what I want from my writing career.

With that in mind, I've taken a look at both what things I've already signed up for in 2025, and what stories are resonating with me, and come up with a writing/release schedule that will see me through to about July 2026.

Here's what I have planned:

• The Starlight Prince (Throvani Ethrionth Star System Series ) coming 25 February 2025
• The Pact of Protection (The Moonlit Crossroads Saga), coming August 29, 2025 as part of the Predators of Darkness Shared Work from StorytellerPublisher22
• The Festival of Fate (The Moonlit Crossroads Saga), coming October 14, 2025, as part of the Within The Woods Anthology
• Frosty The Snowman (standalone, continuation of 2024 SiC story), coming 25 November 2025
• The Dark Side of the Moon (Throvani Ethrionth Star System Series ), coming 30 March, 2026
• LGBTQA+ Parallel universe romance, submitting in online pitch events summer/ autumn 2026

Of course, plans do change, and I'm willing to remain flexible, especially with the plans for 2026, as many things could happen between now and then.

Looking at my plans, I just noticed a pattern, too. 2025 is the year of spicy romance, speculative fiction, where as my two planned releases for 2026 are LGBTQA+ romance, speculative fiction. I wonder, should my third release for 2026 also be LGBTQA+ romance, speculative fiction? Maybe another Moonlit Crossroads Saga?

That's certainly something to think about for the future. :D

I think that's about it for this issue. I'm going to go and work on The Starlight Prince for a while.

Until next time,

Take care and stay creative.

T.T.F.N

 

Writing, ADHD & Funtimes

 Greetings Readers!

It's been a while since I wrote an update post, for various reasons. Partly because so far, August has been filled with lots of fun times outside of the house.

My oldest child and their partner visited for a week, and we went bowling and did some other fun family activities, including visiting the Kenji Store. It's described as 'Modern Asian culture with a British twist,' and sells everything from snacks, to journals, to homeware. Needless to say, I always spend a fortune when I go there. This past time I went, I bought some enamel pins, and realized my collection is getting quite big now!

Bonus picture of me posing with the cute anime-style figure in the Kenji store.

Then, this past Monday, I met up with fellow authors-turned-friends Karen Sanders and Clare Bentley. An excellent time was had all around, and plans were made for the author group Karen runs -- Write Here, Write Now.

You've probably heard me mention the group before, and I will be doing a spotlight post this coming Monday. But while me, Karen and Clare B. were together on Monday, we made plans for the 'Olympics' themed activities for September, as well as discussing promotion for the forth-coming Christmas anthology.

Speaking of the anthology -- I've changed what I'm writing for it. (Twice!). Originally, I was going to write a Josain Jovenne short, but the idea just didn't fit with where Josain is as a character since working on her main story.

Then I conceived an idea about a snowman that comes to life and turns into a sexy elf. I do love that idea, and might still write it as a one-shot/ freebie type thing, time pending.

But I remembered a story I started a few years ago, about an older couple, on the brink of separating, who agree to spend one last Christmas together as a family with their three children, and then they get snowed in. I re-read what I'd previously written, and I love the story, so that's the one I'm going with for the WH,WN Chirstmas anthology.

We'll see if Frosty The Snow-Elf gets a story of his own too ... I have three other stories or partial stories I need to complete before the end of the year, and those are my priority.

Speaking of stories ... I *think* I've finished The Adventures of Josain Jovene. At just over 30k words. The story really got away from me, but I love how it's turned out. It's put some additional things nicely in place for The Starlight Prince. Now I just have to move a few scenes around, work on edits and it should be ready to share with my mailing list subs soon.

Then I need to work on the three projects I alluded to above ... There's the WH, WN Christmas anthology piece which is 15k words maximum and due October 22, the first 25k for a sorcerer-themed collection with StoryTellerPublisher22 that's due at the end of the year, and of course, the continuation of the Starlight Prince. The release date for that is 25 February 2025, but I want to allow my editor enough time to work on it too.

I know that sounds like a lot. It is a lot. But I have planned a schedule, and I'm confident if I focus and write 5000 words a week, I can meet all the various deadlines ... which will be easier said than done with Dragon Age coming out on October 31, but maybe I can reward myself for X amount of words with X hours of playtime.

Speaking of milestones in November, I will have my ADHD assessment! The email that I could book my assessment came through almost a year to the day since my referral was received by psychiatry-uk and I was added to their system. The first available appointments were in November, which I expected. What I didn't expect was the choice of psychiatrists. There were at least five per day available and at first, the choice was a little overwhelming. But I found someone who specializes in women's mental health, ADHD in women, and PMDD, making them a perfect fit for me. Now I just have to stop worrying until November. And of course, after the assessment, if I do have ADHD (which I'm 90% sure I do) I will have to through titration for medication, which can take several months. Still, progress is being made. 

I will have to check in with my GP about the gynaecologist referral for PMDD because it's been a few months and I haven't heard anything … but I’ll take one thing at a time and *try* not to overload myself.

I’m also planning on making other health changes. My weight is starting to bother me … or more accurately, I don’t want to die young due to weight-related issues. I am not putting all this time and effort into getting help with ADHD and PMDD, only to keel over from a heart attack or something. 

So, from September, hubby and I will be dieting again, as we know we will have more success if we do it together. (ADHD buddy system folks!). Tomorrow, we’re going out and we’re going to get smartwatches to track our calories and sleep, and some weights. We already have an exercise bike, and I want to be a ‘muscle mommy’ so we’re alternating weights and cycling 2 times a week from September.

Wish us luck!

I think that’s everything I have for now, but there might be some changes to the blog going forward … As I mentioned previously, I don’t always have posts/ ideas for ‘Favourites Friday’ and while I do LOVE the ‘Memorable Monday’ posts, I only have three more in mind. Plus, I want to make sure my focus is on my novels, not blog content. At the same time, I don’t want to fall into the habit of only posting when I have promos to share, so I will *try* to update at least once a month, hopefully more.

That said, I have some promos and swaps coming tomorrow, and I have a few more ‘Memorable Monday’ posts planned so posts will be more frequent than once a month for a little longer. 

Okay, I’m really going now! lol I want to work on the revisions of The Adventures of Josain Jovene. I need to move some scenes around and I want to check in on the editing suggestions Clare B has made (bless her heart).

Until next time, take care & stay creative.

T.T.F.N

 

 

 

Writing Wednesday: Living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

Greeting readers,

Welcome to another Writing Wednesday post. This week, I have something a little different in mind.

(Warning: this post contains talk of mental health issues, neurodiversity, and self-harm. If any of these things are triggering for you, please put yourself first and skip this post. <3)

You might have noticed my absence from social media over the last couple of days, compared to my three posts a day in the previous couple of weeks.

The reason for this?

I have an angry black ball of static inside me. It has claws and fangs, and it snaps at everything, even those I love.

It sucks all the colour and happiness from the world, leaving me disinterested in my passions and wanting to do nothing but sleep.

I’m speaking of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).

For those unaware, premenstrual dysphoric disorder is like premenstrual syndrome (PMS) on steroids.

WebMD says:

"It's likely that you’ve had some type of PMS since you started your period. Doctors believe that as many as three-quarters of women who get periods have some signs of PMS, whether it’s food cravings, cramps, tender breasts, moodiness, or fatigue.

But PMDD is different. It causes emotional and physical symptoms similar to PMS, but people with PMDD find their symptoms draining. Your PMDD symptoms could interfere with your daily life, including work, school, social life, and relationships."

The first warning sign this month was a horrific nightmare that I woke from breathing heavily. I ran downstairs and sobbed in my husband’s arms.

You’d think, after around 28 years of this, I’d be used to it by now, but every month, it hits me like a freight train.

Even when I’m using symptom trackers, sometimes the signs come unexpectedly, a week or more earlier than anticipated.

Along with the aforementioned nightmares, disinterest in my passions, and the ‘black ball of static,’ I also deal with insomnia, out-of-control acne that makes me feel like a teenager, and breasts so tender that even the slightest movement causes pain to shoot through my body, to name just a few.

A full list of symptoms can be found on the WebMD site. I experience a variety of these symptoms from month to month. Sometimes the same symptoms reoccur regularly, sometimes a new one pops out to visit. It’s like drawing numbers from a hat …

Only instead of numbers, it’s an array of “delightful” experiences such as trouble concentrating or appetite changes (for me, this commonly includes an aversion to meat).

I deal with this for an average of 10-15 days every month. On top of my existing autism and (yet to be diagnosed) ADHD, which can also have similar and overlapping symptoms.

And yes, these conditions are more common together and can exacerbate each other.

On my best days, I’m lethargic, capable of little more than lying in bed dozing. At my worst, I feel anxious for no reason, liable to burst into tears at little to no provocation, and I HATE everything.

The sounds of birds chirping outside? Hate it. The touch of my husband as he tries to comfort me? Hate it. My passion for writing and reading? Hate it.

Me? You guessed it. I hate it.

I start to wish I didn't exist. Thankfully, I have enough positives in my life that I very rarely think about hurting myself. I do wish I could hibernate or turn myself off, like a computer, until all this passes.

I know this isn’t forever. In a week or so, I will be back to my old self, excited about life and wanting to enjoy all that it throws at me (even when times are tough).

But when that little black ball of static appears, it’s hard to see through the darkness and to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Honestly, I don’t know how I made it to 41 and raised two (mostly normal) kids. Actually, I do. I have an amazing husband and a fantastic support system in the form of my mom and stepdad, my sister, and online friends. Even if I don’t always share my struggles with them, they’re there, willing to do anything for me.

I’m fortunate that at the moment, the government has deemed me as having a ‘limited capacity for work and work-related activities,’ meaning I receive benefits to live off. Without them, well … let’s not go down that dark path, shall we?

I hope that by the time my next assessment comes around, I will have seen both a psychiatrist to assess me for ADHD (and start treatment) and either a gynaecologist or another psychiatrist to assess me for PMDD (and discuss treatment).

I am very much in favour of medication when needed and believe antidepressants saved my life. But I also know that they’re not a magic ‘fix-all’. I have spent the last year having ADHD coaching and learned so much about myself and how my brain works, including how to be kinder to myself.

I can also admit I need to make some lifestyle and dietary changes. But I can see that it will be hard for me, and I could do with some extra support in terms of medication. My hope is to be prescribed stimulants for ADHD. The PMDD part is a little trickier, as I am already receiving the go-to treatment of antidepressants and birth control. Hopefully, a medical professional with experience in the field will be able to guide me in the right direction, though.

And until then, I’ll just stock up on Ghibli movies, mac and cheese, and chocolate. And, in the wise words of the Persian adage, I’ll remember ‘This too shall pass.’

I’ll be back this Friday discussing some of the comic books and comic characters I love.

Until then, take care and stay creative.

T.T.F.N

 

Writing Wednesday - My Author Origin Story

Happy Writing Wednesday, folks!

First off all, thanks to everyone who stopped by my first Memorable Monday post, and showed Kyra Lennon some love! I'll be back next Monday with a guest post from Beyond Starlight author Diana Dawn.

Today, I'm going to talk about when and why I started writing, the journey I took to self-publishing, and what writing means to me.

 

ADHD Brains Are Wacky

Hello!

If you've been a follower of my blog for any amount of time, you will know by now that I have a habit of announcing something, doing it for a few months, stopping, and vanishing. Rinse and repeat.

We're only three months into the year, and already I feel like I've changed my plans and goals a million times!

If it's confusing for you, how do you think it feels to be *me*?

I'm *trying* to be more consistent, or at least, I'm trying not to over-share/ over-promise on things I later go back on. It's tough, you know.

It isn't helped by the fact I believe I also have PMDD (think PSM on steroids, where you hate *everything*.) And yes, I know it seems like I have a bunch of health issues. Because I *do* have a bunch of health issues. And I'm not going to stop talking about them. They're part of me, but also, I hope that by sharing, I can help others who are experiencing similar things by letting them know they're not alone.

Anyway, as I was saying, this year already feels like a bunch of changes in direction. The problem is, when I make these blogs, I mean everything I say at the time. I can't help it that I feel differently a few weeks or months later.

And don't tell me *not* to share my excitement for a new project/ idea/ what-have-you, because that's like asking me not to breathe! :P

Along with ADHD and PMDD comes a fluctuating motivation/ desire for all things writing-related. Sometimes I can't ever imagine *not* writing. I eat, sleep, breathe, writing. 

Then *bam* I'm over it. I can't even bear looking at the computer. I'm never writing again.

It's infuriating and has caused me a lot of heartache. I want to do the things I say I'm going to do and live without regret for the things I didn't do.

I don't want to look back on my life in a year, five years, ten years ... and think "Oh, I wish I had done more of this. Or less of this."

Writing is a BIG part of that. I don't want to think I'm never going to release another book. But I'm also very aware of the times I've spoken about a project, started serializing a new novel idea, etc. and then just *stopped*. 

My poor PC is like a graveyard of half-finished stories. And 90% of them I do love and want to go back to in the future. It's just that, like I said, ADHD Brains Are Wacky.

I know this post is long and rambly, but what I am trying to say, I guess, is don't give up on me. Please. Don't forget about me and my stories. Even if I don't always deliver on my promises. 

Until next time. Take care, and keep reading and writing.

T.T.F.N.

The Trouble with First Drafts when you have ADHD

 

If you've been a follower of my blog for a while, you may have noticed that I often start a project, and dive in full steam ahead, only to lose my momentum a few months later.

I used to think it was a failure of mine. I used to think there was something wrong with me because I had so many incomplete stories on my hard drive.

Then I learned I have ADHD.

For those who don't know, ADHD is basically a dopamine deficiency. This means almost everything someone with ADHD does is in pursuit of that precious dopamine (and why we struggle with tasks that don't give us much/ any).

Writing, specifically starting a new project and sharing it with everyone gives me a huge dopamine rush. Sometimes I share details of a new story when it's barely past a half-formed idea. Then the dopamine wears off, and I lose interest.

I'm trying my hardest to find ways of generating dopamine differently so that I have more success with completing projects. Coaching is helping a lot.

But one of the pitfalls I've realized of my frenzied, dopamine-seeking early sharing of projects is that, sometimes, after they're shared I realize they weren't quite ready for the world yet.

You know me, I love a good food analogy, and when I was talking to my ADHD coach recently, I likened this problem to telling all your friends you're baking a cake. Halfway through cooking you announce, "The cake is ready, come and get it." Only, when you cut into the cake, there's raw batter in the middle.

When I get a new idea and start a new project, I get over-excited and want to share it with the world. So often, I do. Sometimes in the form of snippets or blurbs, sometimes in the form of serials ...

You can see where this is going, right?

I love serials because they give me that instant gratification dopamine I crave. BUT what if the serial I'm sharing is a first draft, and halfway through, I realize, crap, there's raw batter in the middle?!

THAT'S where I find myself with Wings, Witches and Wonder. I still love the story, and I still believe in the concept of serials and the platform Ream Stories. But, for me at least, I realize first drafts probably aren't the type of thing I should be serializing.

There are parts of Wings I love, and parts of Wings I hate and want to re-write. And I don't want to continue serializing a story with parts I know aren't as good as they should be. I want to give you my BEST stories. (As a side note, this is one reason I unpublished Truly, Madly, Deeply. But that's a story for another time.)

So yes, all that to say, I have unpublished Wings, Witches and Wonder. It will be back (this year, hopefully), and when I release it (I'm not sure if it will be as a serial or complete novel), it will be a version I'm closer to 100% happy with. No raw batter in the middle! ;)

As I said above, I still believe in the concept of serials and the platform Ream Stories, only for me, it works better with a story that is complete, and that I'm as close to 100% happy with as I can be. A story I won't want to later pull and re-write.

To that end, I will be serializing ALL IT TAKES. It was on Amazon for many years, but I want to reach new readers, especially as Kyra and I have been working to tie it into both her Game On Series and our forthcoming co-written wrestling-themed novel. And, as previously mentioned, I have plans for an age-gap rockstar romance also set in that shared universe (don’t worry, I won’t jump the gun serializing this one! lol).

Additionally, SEEKING THE TRUTH is also on ReamStories as it’s complete and I don’t foresee me making changes and/or expanding on that universe.

So yeah, that's where I'm at. If you've read/ commented on the previously published chapters of WINGS, thank you! Your support and encouragement means everything to me. <3 <3 <3 I hope you will still love the story when I've had a chance to work on it more.

From here on out, I will be posting weekly chapters of ALL IT TAKES and SEEKING THE TRUTH, and I'll have news about other projects -- including WINGS and the aforementioned rockstar romance -- when I'm sure they're properly 'cooked' as it were.

I'm also considering starting a blog series on my experiences as a writer with ADHD, so please let me know if that's something you'd like to hear more about.

Until next time, stay safe, and keep reading & writing!

T.T.F.N

Plans and Musings

I thought a follow-up to my last update was required, so here it is.

I started ADHD coaching, and it's going great. My coach is so insightful, and I'm trying to make changes already. I know I've got a way to go, but I feel like I'm making positive steps.

I also heard back from the referral for an assessment, and I'm now in their system, so I imagine I'll be hearing back again in February-March. It's a long wait, but it is what it is.

I'm still waiting on a few other things to help support people with their mental health so they can get back to work, so we will see how that goes.

Overall though, I am feeling SO much better. I feel like a dark cloud has been lifted from over me, and now I see the future stretching out before me.

So, what does that mean both for my literary career and writing?

Well, I'm starting a proofreading course today, with the aim of launching a proofreading business in the new year.

I've done a little proofreading before and loved it. I feel like it will be a good use of my skills, and also fit in with my interests. 

I've decided to go the self-employed route (rather than applying to publishers etc.) because I want control. One thing I realized is that part of why ghostwriting wasn't working for me anymore was because I didn't have enough control. 

Hopefully with some changes to my routine and mentality, and skills learned in coaching, I can build a successful business while maintaining a better work-life balance, and not end up burned out.

Writing-wise, I'm working on a paranormal romance that I'm really enjoying. I have a vague plan for how the rest of the story goes, so I'm writing happily and seeing where the story takes me.

The story is actually set in the Ancile universe, and that's been making me think a lot about Liches, Legends, and Love. I very much want to finish the story, but I'm wondering if I should work on re-writing it so that it's a paranormal romance, rather than a contemporary fantasy with romantic elements so that it's more in line with my current WIP.

Another question I keep coming back to is what will I do with the story(ies) once they're finished. I'm *trying* to live in the moment, and just enjoy writing, but my mind inevitably goes to "what comes next?"

I LOVE serial web fiction, but it seems not everyone else does, as Liches only had one regular reader. Part of me wondered if it was genre-related, but I was posting to genre-specific sites, like Royal Road, so who knows.

I'm tempted to give serials one last try on Inkett and Ream, but I'd LOVE some feedback.

Who here reads online web fiction? If so, what draws you to a story?

Has anyone published a successful online web fiction? If so, what tips and tricks do you have for me?

That's all I have for today, and lunchtime is almost over, so it's time for me to get into work mode.

I'd love to hear if you've got any news you'd like to share with me.

Until next time.

Stay safe, and keep writing.

A Wild Clare Appeared!

 *waves from the entrance of my cave*

If you were a Pokemon, which would you be? I'd be an Umbreon. A cute cat/ fox/ dog/ rabbit creature who harnesses the power of the moon! 

But this post isn't about Pokemon, I just borrowed the title from the Pokemon phrase "A wild Pokemon appeared," because that's a little bit how I'm feeling right now.

I feel like I've just emerged from a dark cave, or the depths of a haunted forest or something.

In my last post, I talked about putting my serial web fiction, LICHES, LEGENDS AND LOVE on hiatus, and how part of the reason was that I was struggling due to (possible) ADHD.

Well, things certainly got worse before they got better!

After dropping out of the Hexes and Heiresses: Tales of the Witch Queens Collection (which releases on August 29, if you're still interested in reading the stories by the other awesome authors in the collection) and putting my own writing on hiatus, I thought I'd be okay with just ghostwriting alone.

I wasn't.

I tried to power through, because I hated the idea of breaking the agreement I had with the client, and I didn't like the thought of dropping down to one income while my hubby's business is still less than two years old.

Side tangent -- if you love handheld gaming, specifically the Steam Deck and Asus Rog Ally, or if you just want to support a growing business (which in turn supports me) please check out RetroResolve. It really is an amazing site for gaming news, and my hubby has put in a lot of work over the last 14(?) months.

Anyway, back on track ... I was near the beginning of a new ghostwriting project and the same old patterns of avoidance were coming. Plus, I could feel the signs of burnout and depression. I started sinking deeper and deeper into despair. I went from avoiding work by doing things I enjoyed like crafting, to instead just sleeping all day. And then staying up all night watching YouTube, while my intrusive thoughts run rampant.

These thoughts are thoughts I've dealt with before, and I'm sure many others have too. I started feeling like things were never going to get better, and maybe there was only one way out ... but I didn't want to seriously contemplate *that*. 

I just wanted to get better.

Thankfully, as well as being a wonderful video game journalist and fantastic father, the man I married is also an amazing partner, who always listens to me, and offers me the best advice.

After talking things through with my hubby I knew it was time to make changes. Even though I hated letting my client down, I told them I'm stepping away from ghostwriting. It wasn't doing me any favors mentally, and I've since realized it's not the right profession for me.

I also called the GP. I told them how I was feeling and asked what more help is available. One of the first things I was able to do is change my ADHD diagnosis referral from the NHS (the health system in the UK for those who don't know) to something called 'Right to Choose', which basically allows people to get private medical care, but the NHS still covers the cost, because they're failing to meet the initial needs of the NHS. Yes, it's a sign the NHS needs reform, but that's not what this post is about.

Anyway, my referral has been sent, and compared to the NHS waiting times (which I've been told can be anything from two years onwards), I'm looking at a seven-month wait for an assessment, and then a further seven months of medication triation. Not ideal, by any means, but I can't afford to get a private diagnosis, so that's where I'm at.

The GP also gave me a sick note, so that I can change my benefit claim from self-employed to unable to work at the moment. That means that instead of having monthly checkings with a government advisor to see how my self-employment is progressing, instead, I'm having regular check-ins with a slightly different department that will provide me with advice, guidance, and services to help with my mental health conditions until I'm well enough to work again. As an added bonus, we will also receive benefit payments if my husband's income falls under a certain amount. 

The GP also referred me for CBT and a service called 'listening and guidance'. The CBT has about a three-month waiting list, and I've only had one listening and guidance session, but it is helping me look at my life through a different lens.

Most helpful of all has been the support of the person from the government's capacity for work department. She put me in touch with Access to Work, which offers mental health help, and grants for people struggling to find employment or maintain employment due to mental health conditions. Through AtW, I have been able to get ADHD coaching sessions, which will start in a few weeks.

Along with these services, I must also say one thing I know that is helping is my spirituality and relationship with God. For many, many years I've struggled with religion, and also 'dabbled' in the occult and witchcraft. But through my mom, who is a devout Christian, I have found my way back to God. I'm not going to tell anyone else what to do, who to worship, or whatever. I'm just saying, from my personal experience, knowing I am on God's path and that They are looking out for me is really helping. 

So, all that to say, I finally feel like I'm coming out of a cave. I want to do things other than just sleep and scroll on the internet. I'm thinking about my future.

And I'm thinking about writing.

I've had an idea that won't leave me alone, and I've written about 1k words already, but I don't want to make any commitments, because knowing both how my ADHD works, and that I'm still recovering from burnout, it could be *something* or it could end up being nothing. Only time will tell. But even if it does turn out to be nothing, the important thing is, I feel like I have a spark that has been missing from my life slowly returning to me.

I don't know what that means for Liches, Legends, and Love yet, either. I *want* to finish the serial, and then publish the complete edition on Amazon. But I don't have a time scale for that, or any idea if I will continue the Ancile Series. For now, it's all very much, wait and see. But wait and see is better than the darkness I was lost in before.

Finally, I'm thinking about what I want to do when I am well enough to work again. While I did LOVE ghostwriting for a long time, I've since come to realize, I held onto it for too long. The types of stories I was writing, and the pressure I was putting on myself weren't good for my health, or for my passion for writing. It won't be something I go back to.

So what's next? Honestly, I have no clue! I've narrowed it down to a small list of 'must-haves'. Ideally, I'd like to continue to be able to work from home (at least for the foreseeable future), it must be creative. I love the idea of also being able to help others. And I also feel I'd be better suited to a position where I have someone to report to, so that I have a measure of accountability to keep me on track.

Of course, the ADHD coaching will also help with that and will help me identify other strengths and weaknesses.

One path I'm contemplating is getting back into the publishing industry/ assisting authors, similar to what I was doing with CQ, but on a smaller scale. BUT I also keep thinking about the ADHD situation in the UK, and how I *want* to help with that. So maybe something connected to ADHD coaching is a possibility. Again, time will tell.

But for now, I'm thinking of the future, and making plans. We have my son and his girlfriend coming to stay with us for a week this Saturday, and we have a few day trips planned. Then I think I will continue taking the rest of August off, and doing things I love such as crafting and playing Sims.

But from September, I'd like to get into a more work-like routine, maybe work on this story idea I've had. Maybe do some courses to help me redirect my career.

So yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Life isn't perfect, but things are a lot better than they've been for months, and I know the future can only get better from here.

If you've stuck with me this far, thanks for reading! If you have news you'd like to share, or anything important I've missed, I'd love to hear all about it. I'd love to reconnect with people who I've fallen out of touch with, so in the coming weeks, I'm going to be making an effort to catch up with people, and hopefully be around more on social media.

T.T.F.N

Clare

An update, of sorts.

As you may have noticed, I haven't updated my web fiction, LICHES, LEGENDS, AND LOVE in about a month.

The truth is, I SUCK at deadlines. 

But that's not entirely my fault. 

I suspect I have ADHD but the road to diagnosis is long, especially in the UK where I am (thanks Tories), so until then I'm stuck with this horrible, debilitating condition that stops me from doing things even when I love them.

Couple that with working as a ghostwriter, home-schooling my son, supporting my husband in the first year of his own business, and a whole host of other issues, and well, sometimes things get pushed to the wayside.

Sadly, one of those things is fiction writing. Right now, I only have it in me to focus on my paid projects. And yes, I could self-publish on Amazon and earn money that way. But self-publishing comes with other responsibilities ghostwriting doesn't *cough* marketing *cough* and often pays much less, unfortunately. 

ADHD is also a funny little condition where motivation and passion for things comes and goes. Sometimes I can be obsessed with writing, and throw myself head first into it, focusing on nothing else. Whereas at other times, writing is as about as much appeal as eating a wet sock.

While that certainly does explain why I have so many half-finished projects, it doesn't get me any closer to my publishing goals and actually makes me feel like a failure.

All I can do until I get a diagnosis and treatment (I'm going to be looking into ADHD coaches next week, so hopefully *that* will help) is go where the motivation takes me.

Currently, that's to two places:

1. Removing All It Takes from Amazon, and serializing it on Radish. I desperately want to make a serial web fiction work, and given both the popularity of contemporary romance on Radish, and the fact it's complete, All It Takes seems like the best choice.

2. Finishing off my co-written wrestling-themed contemporary romance with Kyra Lennon. The story is 90% written, and just needs an ending and all that good promo stuff like a cover and a blurb. Plus, having someone else to keep me in check helps with accountability, so I *should* be able to meet any deadlines Kyra and I set.

So for the foreseeable future, that's where I'm at writing-wise. I am putting Liches, Legends and Love on hiatus (I'm still deciding if I want to take it offline completely), I've dropped out of the Witch Queens collection, and I will only be focusing on projects I feel I can accomplish right now.

Along with the two projects I mentioned above, I have a contractual agreement with my ghostwriting client to write three more books for them, which should take me until the end of 2023. Hopefully, by then, I will have made some progress with the ADHD situation and can reassess what I want to do about my own writing.

Thanks for your continued love, support and encouragement.

Until next time, stay safe, and write on!