Hey friends,
If you’ve been following along recently, you might have noticed things shifting around here — from my website’s look to how I talk about my books and goals as an author. It’s not just a fresh coat of paint — it’s part of a deeper evolution.
Greetings Readers!
It's been a while since I wrote an update post, for various reasons. Partly because so far, August has been filled with lots of fun times outside of the house.
My oldest child and their partner visited for a week, and we went bowling and did some other fun family activities, including visiting the Kenji Store. It's described as 'Modern Asian culture with a British twist,' and sells everything from snacks, to journals, to homeware. Needless to say, I always spend a fortune when I go there. This past time I went, I bought some enamel pins, and realized my collection is getting quite big now!
Bonus picture of me posing with the cute anime-style figure in the Kenji store.
Then, this past Monday, I met up with fellow authors-turned-friends Karen Sanders and Clare Bentley. An excellent time was had all around, and plans were made for the author group Karen runs -- Write Here, Write Now.
You've probably heard me mention the group before, and I will be doing a spotlight post this coming Monday. But while me, Karen and Clare B. were together on Monday, we made plans for the 'Olympics' themed activities for September, as well as discussing promotion for the forth-coming Christmas anthology.
Speaking of the anthology -- I've changed what I'm writing for it. (Twice!). Originally, I was going to write a Josain Jovenne short, but the idea just didn't fit with where Josain is as a character since working on her main story.
Then I conceived an idea about a snowman that comes to life and turns into a sexy elf. I do love that idea, and might still write it as a one-shot/ freebie type thing, time pending.
But I remembered a story I started a few years ago, about an older couple, on the brink of separating, who agree to spend one last Christmas together as a family with their three children, and then they get snowed in. I re-read what I'd previously written, and I love the story, so that's the one I'm going with for the WH,WN Chirstmas anthology.
We'll see if Frosty The Snow-Elf gets a story of his own too ... I have three other stories or partial stories I need to complete before the end of the year, and those are my priority.
Speaking of stories ... I *think* I've finished The Adventures of Josain Jovene. At just over 30k words. The story really got away from me, but I love how it's turned out. It's put some additional things nicely in place for The Starlight Prince. Now I just have to move a few scenes around, work on edits and it should be ready to share with my mailing list subs soon.
Then I need to work on the three projects I alluded to above ... There's the WH, WN Christmas anthology piece which is 15k words maximum and due October 22, the first 25k for a sorcerer-themed collection with StoryTellerPublisher22 that's due at the end of the year, and of course, the continuation of the Starlight Prince. The release date for that is 25 February 2025, but I want to allow my editor enough time to work on it too.
I know that sounds like a lot. It is a lot. But I have planned a schedule, and I'm confident if I focus and write 5000 words a week, I can meet all the various deadlines ... which will be easier said than done with Dragon Age coming out on October 31, but maybe I can reward myself for X amount of words with X hours of playtime.
Speaking of milestones in November, I will have my ADHD assessment! The email that I could book my assessment came through almost a year to the day since my referral was received by psychiatry-uk and I was added to their system. The first available appointments were in November, which I expected. What I didn't expect was the choice of psychiatrists. There were at least five per day available and at first, the choice was a little overwhelming. But I found someone who specializes in women's mental health, ADHD in women, and PMDD, making them a perfect fit for me. Now I just have to stop worrying until November. And of course, after the assessment, if I do have ADHD (which I'm 90% sure I do) I will have to through titration for medication, which can take several months. Still, progress is being made.
I will have to check in with my GP about the gynaecologist referral for PMDD because it's been a few months and I haven't heard anything … but I’ll take one thing at a time and *try* not to overload myself.
I’m also planning on making other health changes. My weight is starting to bother me … or more accurately, I don’t want to die young due to weight-related issues. I am not putting all this time and effort into getting help with ADHD and PMDD, only to keel over from a heart attack or something.
So, from September, hubby and I will be dieting again, as we know we will have more success if we do it together. (ADHD buddy system folks!). Tomorrow, we’re going out and we’re going to get smartwatches to track our calories and sleep, and some weights. We already have an exercise bike, and I want to be a ‘muscle mommy’ so we’re alternating weights and cycling 2 times a week from September.
Wish us luck!
I think that’s everything I have for now, but there might be some changes to the blog going forward … As I mentioned previously, I don’t always have posts/ ideas for ‘Favourites Friday’ and while I do LOVE the ‘Memorable Monday’ posts, I only have three more in mind. Plus, I want to make sure my focus is on my novels, not blog content. At the same time, I don’t want to fall into the habit of only posting when I have promos to share, so I will *try* to update at least once a month, hopefully more.
That said, I have some promos and swaps coming tomorrow, and I have a few more ‘Memorable Monday’ posts planned so posts will be more frequent than once a month for a little longer.
Okay, I’m really going now! lol I want to work on the revisions of The Adventures of Josain Jovene. I need to move some scenes around and I want to check in on the editing suggestions Clare B has made (bless her heart).
Until next time, take care & stay creative.
T.T.F.N
Hello!
If you've been a follower of my blog for any amount of time, you will know by now that I have a habit of announcing something, doing it for a few months, stopping, and vanishing. Rinse and repeat.
We're only three months into the year, and already I feel like I've changed my plans and goals a million times!
If it's confusing for you, how do you think it feels to be *me*?
I'm *trying* to be more consistent, or at least, I'm trying not to over-share/ over-promise on things I later go back on. It's tough, you know.
It isn't helped by the fact I believe I also have PMDD (think PSM on steroids, where you hate *everything*.) And yes, I know it seems like I have a bunch of health issues. Because I *do* have a bunch of health issues. And I'm not going to stop talking about them. They're part of me, but also, I hope that by sharing, I can help others who are experiencing similar things by letting them know they're not alone.
Anyway, as I was saying, this year already feels like a bunch of changes in direction. The problem is, when I make these blogs, I mean everything I say at the time. I can't help it that I feel differently a few weeks or months later.
And don't tell me *not* to share my excitement for a new project/ idea/ what-have-you, because that's like asking me not to breathe! :P
Along with ADHD and PMDD comes a fluctuating motivation/ desire for all things writing-related. Sometimes I can't ever imagine *not* writing. I eat, sleep, breathe, writing.
Then *bam* I'm over it. I can't even bear looking at the computer. I'm never writing again.
It's infuriating and has caused me a lot of heartache. I want to do the things I say I'm going to do and live without regret for the things I didn't do.
I don't want to look back on my life in a year, five years, ten years ... and think "Oh, I wish I had done more of this. Or less of this."
Writing is a BIG part of that. I don't want to think I'm never going to release another book. But I'm also very aware of the times I've spoken about a project, started serializing a new novel idea, etc. and then just *stopped*.
My poor PC is like a graveyard of half-finished stories. And 90% of them I do love and want to go back to in the future. It's just that, like I said, ADHD Brains Are Wacky.
I know this post is long and rambly, but what I am trying to say, I guess, is don't give up on me. Please. Don't forget about me and my stories. Even if I don't always deliver on my promises.
Until next time. Take care, and keep reading and writing.
T.T.F.N.
Yes, I know we're already one month into the new year, but honestly, it's taken me that long to settle into 2024!
The holiday period was great - we visited family, ate lots of delicious food, and were all very happy with our gifts.
As the new year started, I began thinking about what's really important to me, and two things topped my list:
Health and Writing.
I won't go into too much detail here, but I have a handful of health issues that are causing me some problems, and I want to focus on getting the right help so I can continue growing into the best version of myself.
But along with these health issues comes the realization I can't do everything. I had to remove something from my life, and I found myself having to choose between going forward with my planned proofreading business or continuing to push my career as an author.
And well ... I can't just stop writing. That would be like asking someone to stop breathing. Thankfully, I may be able to get some financial support due to my health issues, meaning I can focus on my writing without having to take on extra work (like proofreading) to pay the bills.
So, with writing firmly in the forefront of my mind, I've decided to make some changes to what I'm doing with Ream and my stories.
Both my contemporary-romance ALL IT TAKES and my urban-fantasy novella SEEKING THE TRUTH will be available in weekly serial format for $5 a month, or if you'd prefer to read it all in one go, you can 'unlock' the whole novella for $10 a month.
Fellow author Kyra Lennon and I are releasing a wrestling-based story later this year, and we want to build it into a shared universe that will not only include our co-written story, but ALL IT TAKES, Kyra's Game On Series (which you can read on ReamStories too!), and an age-gap, rockstar romance from me.
As my updated bio says, reading and writing has always been an escape for me, and I really hope my stories offer those of you out there in need of a little respite an escape too!
That's all I have for you this week. So, until Friday, take care and read on.
T.T.F.N!
I thought a follow-up to my last update was required, so here it is.
I started ADHD coaching, and it's going great. My coach is so insightful, and I'm trying to make changes already. I know I've got a way to go, but I feel like I'm making positive steps.
I also heard back from the referral for an assessment, and I'm now in their system, so I imagine I'll be hearing back again in February-March. It's a long wait, but it is what it is.
I'm still waiting on a few other things to help support people with their mental health so they can get back to work, so we will see how that goes.
Overall though, I am feeling SO much better. I feel like a dark cloud has been lifted from over me, and now I see the future stretching out before me.
So, what does that mean both for my literary career and writing?
Well, I'm starting a proofreading course today, with the aim of launching a proofreading business in the new year.
I've done a little proofreading before and loved it. I feel like it will be a good use of my skills, and also fit in with my interests.
I've decided to go the self-employed route (rather than applying to publishers etc.) because I want control. One thing I realized is that part of why ghostwriting wasn't working for me anymore was because I didn't have enough control.
Hopefully with some changes to my routine and mentality, and skills learned in coaching, I can build a successful business while maintaining a better work-life balance, and not end up burned out.
Writing-wise, I'm working on a paranormal romance that I'm really enjoying. I have a vague plan for how the rest of the story goes, so I'm writing happily and seeing where the story takes me.
The story is actually set in the Ancile universe, and that's been making me think a lot about Liches, Legends, and Love. I very much want to finish the story, but I'm wondering if I should work on re-writing it so that it's a paranormal romance, rather than a contemporary fantasy with romantic elements so that it's more in line with my current WIP.
Another question I keep coming back to is what will I do with the story(ies) once they're finished. I'm *trying* to live in the moment, and just enjoy writing, but my mind inevitably goes to "what comes next?"
I LOVE serial web fiction, but it seems not everyone else does, as Liches only had one regular reader. Part of me wondered if it was genre-related, but I was posting to genre-specific sites, like Royal Road, so who knows.
I'm tempted to give serials one last try on Inkett and Ream, but I'd LOVE some feedback.
Who here reads online web fiction? If so, what draws you to a story?
Has anyone published a successful online web fiction? If so, what tips and tricks do you have for me?
That's all I have for today, and lunchtime is almost over, so it's time for me to get into work mode.
I'd love to hear if you've got any news you'd like to share with me.
Until next time.
Stay safe, and keep writing.
*waves from the entrance of my cave*
If you were a Pokemon, which would you be? I'd be an Umbreon. A cute cat/ fox/ dog/ rabbit creature who harnesses the power of the moon!
But this post isn't about Pokemon, I just borrowed the title from the Pokemon phrase "A wild Pokemon appeared," because that's a little bit how I'm feeling right now.
I feel like I've just emerged from a dark cave, or the depths of a haunted forest or something.
In my last post, I talked about putting my serial web fiction, LICHES, LEGENDS AND LOVE on hiatus, and how part of the reason was that I was struggling due to (possible) ADHD.
Well, things certainly got worse before they got better!
After dropping out of the Hexes and Heiresses: Tales of the Witch Queens Collection (which releases on August 29, if you're still interested in reading the stories by the other awesome authors in the collection) and putting my own writing on hiatus, I thought I'd be okay with just ghostwriting alone.
I wasn't.
I tried to power through, because I hated the idea of breaking the agreement I had with the client, and I didn't like the thought of dropping down to one income while my hubby's business is still less than two years old.
Side tangent -- if you love handheld gaming, specifically the Steam Deck and Asus Rog Ally, or if you just want to support a growing business (which in turn supports me) please check out RetroResolve. It really is an amazing site for gaming news, and my hubby has put in a lot of work over the last 14(?) months.
Anyway, back on track ... I was near the beginning of a new ghostwriting project and the same old patterns of avoidance were coming. Plus, I could feel the signs of burnout and depression. I started sinking deeper and deeper into despair. I went from avoiding work by doing things I enjoyed like crafting, to instead just sleeping all day. And then staying up all night watching YouTube, while my intrusive thoughts run rampant.
These thoughts are thoughts I've dealt with before, and I'm sure many others have too. I started feeling like things were never going to get better, and maybe there was only one way out ... but I didn't want to seriously contemplate *that*.
I just wanted to get better.
Thankfully, as well as being a wonderful video game journalist and fantastic father, the man I married is also an amazing partner, who always listens to me, and offers me the best advice.
After talking things through with my hubby I knew it was time to make changes. Even though I hated letting my client down, I told them I'm stepping away from ghostwriting. It wasn't doing me any favors mentally, and I've since realized it's not the right profession for me.
I also called the GP. I told them how I was feeling and asked what more help is available. One of the first things I was able to do is change my ADHD diagnosis referral from the NHS (the health system in the UK for those who don't know) to something called 'Right to Choose', which basically allows people to get private medical care, but the NHS still covers the cost, because they're failing to meet the initial needs of the NHS. Yes, it's a sign the NHS needs reform, but that's not what this post is about.
Anyway, my referral has been sent, and compared to the NHS waiting times (which I've been told can be anything from two years onwards), I'm looking at a seven-month wait for an assessment, and then a further seven months of medication triation. Not ideal, by any means, but I can't afford to get a private diagnosis, so that's where I'm at.
The GP also gave me a sick note, so that I can change my benefit claim from self-employed to unable to work at the moment. That means that instead of having monthly checkings with a government advisor to see how my self-employment is progressing, instead, I'm having regular check-ins with a slightly different department that will provide me with advice, guidance, and services to help with my mental health conditions until I'm well enough to work again. As an added bonus, we will also receive benefit payments if my husband's income falls under a certain amount.
The GP also referred me for CBT and a service called 'listening and guidance'. The CBT has about a three-month waiting list, and I've only had one listening and guidance session, but it is helping me look at my life through a different lens.
Most helpful of all has been the support of the person from the government's capacity for work department. She put me in touch with Access to Work, which offers mental health help, and grants for people struggling to find employment or maintain employment due to mental health conditions. Through AtW, I have been able to get ADHD coaching sessions, which will start in a few weeks.
Along with these services, I must also say one thing I know that is helping is my spirituality and relationship with God. For many, many years I've struggled with religion, and also 'dabbled' in the occult and witchcraft. But through my mom, who is a devout Christian, I have found my way back to God. I'm not going to tell anyone else what to do, who to worship, or whatever. I'm just saying, from my personal experience, knowing I am on God's path and that They are looking out for me is really helping.
So, all that to say, I finally feel like I'm coming out of a cave. I want to do things other than just sleep and scroll on the internet. I'm thinking about my future.
And I'm thinking about writing.
I've had an idea that won't leave me alone, and I've written about 1k words already, but I don't want to make any commitments, because knowing both how my ADHD works, and that I'm still recovering from burnout, it could be *something* or it could end up being nothing. Only time will tell. But even if it does turn out to be nothing, the important thing is, I feel like I have a spark that has been missing from my life slowly returning to me.
I don't know what that means for Liches, Legends, and Love yet, either. I *want* to finish the serial, and then publish the complete edition on Amazon. But I don't have a time scale for that, or any idea if I will continue the Ancile Series. For now, it's all very much, wait and see. But wait and see is better than the darkness I was lost in before.
Finally, I'm thinking about what I want to do when I am well enough to work again. While I did LOVE ghostwriting for a long time, I've since come to realize, I held onto it for too long. The types of stories I was writing, and the pressure I was putting on myself weren't good for my health, or for my passion for writing. It won't be something I go back to.
So what's next? Honestly, I have no clue! I've narrowed it down to a small list of 'must-haves'. Ideally, I'd like to continue to be able to work from home (at least for the foreseeable future), it must be creative. I love the idea of also being able to help others. And I also feel I'd be better suited to a position where I have someone to report to, so that I have a measure of accountability to keep me on track.
Of course, the ADHD coaching will also help with that and will help me identify other strengths and weaknesses.
One path I'm contemplating is getting back into the publishing industry/ assisting authors, similar to what I was doing with CQ, but on a smaller scale. BUT I also keep thinking about the ADHD situation in the UK, and how I *want* to help with that. So maybe something connected to ADHD coaching is a possibility. Again, time will tell.
But for now, I'm thinking of the future, and making plans. We have my son and his girlfriend coming to stay with us for a week this Saturday, and we have a few day trips planned. Then I think I will continue taking the rest of August off, and doing things I love such as crafting and playing Sims.
But from September, I'd like to get into a more work-like routine, maybe work on this story idea I've had. Maybe do some courses to help me redirect my career.
So yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Life isn't perfect, but things are a lot better than they've been for months, and I know the future can only get better from here.
If you've stuck with me this far, thanks for reading! If you have news you'd like to share, or anything important I've missed, I'd love to hear all about it. I'd love to reconnect with people who I've fallen out of touch with, so in the coming weeks, I'm going to be making an effort to catch up with people, and hopefully be around more on social media.
T.T.F.N
Clare
As you may have noticed, I haven't updated my web fiction, LICHES, LEGENDS, AND LOVE in about a month.
The truth is, I SUCK at deadlines.
But that's not entirely my fault.
I suspect I have ADHD but the road to diagnosis is long, especially in the UK where I am (thanks Tories), so until then I'm stuck with this horrible, debilitating condition that stops me from doing things even when I love them.
Couple that with working as a ghostwriter, home-schooling my son, supporting my husband in the first year of his own business, and a whole host of other issues, and well, sometimes things get pushed to the wayside.
Sadly, one of those things is fiction writing. Right now, I only have it in me to focus on my paid projects. And yes, I could self-publish on Amazon and earn money that way. But self-publishing comes with other responsibilities ghostwriting doesn't *cough* marketing *cough* and often pays much less, unfortunately.
ADHD is also a funny little condition where motivation and passion for things comes and goes. Sometimes I can be obsessed with writing, and throw myself head first into it, focusing on nothing else. Whereas at other times, writing is as about as much appeal as eating a wet sock.
While that certainly does explain why I have so many half-finished projects, it doesn't get me any closer to my publishing goals and actually makes me feel like a failure.
All I can do until I get a diagnosis and treatment (I'm going to be looking into ADHD coaches next week, so hopefully *that* will help) is go where the motivation takes me.
Currently, that's to two places:
1. Removing All It Takes from Amazon, and serializing it on Radish. I desperately want to make a serial web fiction work, and given both the popularity of contemporary romance on Radish, and the fact it's complete, All It Takes seems like the best choice.
2. Finishing off my co-written wrestling-themed contemporary romance with Kyra Lennon. The story is 90% written, and just needs an ending and all that good promo stuff like a cover and a blurb. Plus, having someone else to keep me in check helps with accountability, so I *should* be able to meet any deadlines Kyra and I set.
So for the foreseeable future, that's where I'm at writing-wise. I am putting Liches, Legends and Love on hiatus (I'm still deciding if I want to take it offline completely), I've dropped out of the Witch Queens collection, and I will only be focusing on projects I feel I can accomplish right now.
Along with the two projects I mentioned above, I have a contractual agreement with my ghostwriting client to write three more books for them, which should take me until the end of 2023. Hopefully, by then, I will have made some progress with the ADHD situation and can reassess what I want to do about my own writing.
Thanks for your continued love, support and encouragement.
Until next time, stay safe, and write on!
