After
a week's break, I'm back, and today taking part in Danielle
B and Jackie's
First
Fight/First Kiss Blogfest.
Here's
what the ladies have to say about the blogfest:
Share
your 1st FIGHT and 1st KISS scenes in your
MS’s, WIP’s, or real life experiences.
We
want to read and experience them all! Make us feel what your
characters or what you felt ... from the sting of the fist hitting
the face to the taste of that first kiss.
The
First Fight/First Kiss blogfest will go as such:
- Post 1 will be on Tuesday, June 12 - Share your 1st FIGHT scene on your blog... lovers spat, a banter back and forth, a battle scene, a classic fist fight, etc. It can be physical or verbal, fists or magic. Whatever you want.
- Post 2 will be on Thursday, June 14 - Share your 1st KISS scene on your blog. It can be a peck on the cheek or a full fledge kissing session. Whatever you want to share.
- Hop around to the other blogs and comment on their wonderful 1st fight and 1st kiss scenes.
Once again I'm focusing on my second WiP, Perfect Ten, and sharing with you the first fight and first kiss between Nick Braxton (who I introduced during the 'Oh, My Hero!' Bloghop) and Rainie Dalton (who I will be introducing in the 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!' Bloghop).
"Get
your hand off those." Rainie swatted Nick away as he reached for
one of the iced pink cupcakes she'd placed on the counter at work.
They were a special favour for Geraldine.
It was Sharline's eighteenth birthday and Rainie had agreed to bake
fifty cupcakes for the party.
"Oh
come on. You've got plenty to spare." He was right. Rainie had
intentionally made extra in case anything happened to any of the
cakes. "Just one won't hurt."
"Alright,
just one. But don't let anyone else see. If they know I've given you
one, everyone will want one."
"Your
secret's safe with me." Nick pulled off the rice paper butterfly
and popped it in his mouth, before licking off the pink frosting.
Once the cupcake had been cleared of all its icing, he took a bite.
"Damn these are good!"
"Uh-huh."
Rainie stacked up the now empty plastic containers she'd transported
the cakes in and wiped down the counter.
"I
mean, really
good.
Better than anything I've tasted in shops. You're
wasted here, you know? I remember what the canteen food tasted like
before you started working here. You could do so much more with your
talents."
"Uh-huh.
Sure." Rainie avoided his eyes and started getting the equipment
out that she'd need to prepare lunch. She skittered around the small
kitchen; pulling out pans, opening her knife roll, and laid out
ingredients.
"Rainie,
I'm serious," Nick pulled the pan from her hands and forced her
to look at him. "I saw your eyes light up when we were at that
country house restaurant. I heard the way you were gushing over the
produce. You love this stuff, like I love acting. But you're serving
canteen food. Why aren't you out there, I dunno, opening a bistro or
a cake shop?"
"It's
not that simple." She wriggled from his grasp and turned her
back on him, focusing all her attention on chopping carrots for the
spaghetti bolognese.
"Isn't
it? I know for damn sure this
isn't
what I plan to be doing for the rest of my career. This is just a
stepping stone to bigger and better things."
"For
you maybe, not for me. I'm ten years older, with kids and a mortgage
to think about." Rainie still didn't look at Nick, instead
keeping her gaze fixed on the carrots, as she swept them off the
chopping board and into a pan.
"Do
kids and a mortgage stop you following your dream?" Nick asked,
taking the knife and chapping board from her hands and laying them
down on the counter. He laced his fingers through hers.
"Drop
it, Nick. Please." She avoided his eyes, and looked to the
floor.
"Why?
This is important to you, I know it is." Nick hooked his thumb
under her chin and tilted her head up so that she was forced to look
at him.
"I
don't want to have this conversation."
"You
can't run away from this."
"I'm
not running. I accepted a long time ago that path is closed for me."
Rainie's body suggested differently, as she unwound her fingers from
his and walked away, putting distance between the two of them, and
once again distracting herself with chopping vegetables.
Nick
opened his mouth to say something, but Rainie silenced him with a
look, and then said, "I need to get to work, and shouldn't you
be on set?" He shook his head. "Okay, well in make up, or
wardrobe, or something. Just give me some space, okay?"
"Why
won't you talk to me about this?" Nick inched closer, but as he
approached Rainie moved out of reach of his grasp.
"I
said I'm not discussing it with you." She stomped her foot
lightly on the floor to punctuate the point, her hands planted firmly
on her hips.
Nick
threw his arms up in exasperation."Fine. Do whatever you want."
He dropped the cupcake wrapper in the bin and strode off.
He
hadn't gotten more than a few paces when Rainie called out, "Fine.
I'll see you for dinner later."
"I
dunno. I'll call you."
When
he didn't turn around to answer her, Rainie's heart dropped. She knew
she'd done the wrong thing. Nick was always so open with her, and he
prompted her to be the same. When they chatted he wanted to know
everything;
what her childhood had been like, where she'd been on holiday, what
she'd experienced at college, how it felt to be a mother, memories
and moments with her boys. All that she had been and all that she
was, he wanted laid on the table. But not this.
She wouldn't, couldn't open up to Nick about this. He wouldn't get
it. He was young, with no responsibilities, and had his whole life in
front of him. He wouldn't understand what it was like to sacrifice
something you loved because you had other people to consider; to be
utterly selfless because people were depending on you.
"I don't want to have this conversation."
ReplyDeleteYes, I have uttered that sentence before!
Good excerpt, Clare.
Thank you. And yes, those are words I've uttered myself.
DeleteAwesome excerpt! The dialogue is flowing and natural. I really felt for Rainie too. I want to give her a hug for being selfless and brave.
ReplyDeleteThank you, glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteThis is really good, Clare. I felt like I really got to know your characters. And those cupcakes sound divine. Yum.
ReplyDeleteThanks, glad you liked it. And yes, I'd love one of those cupcakes.
DeleteNice scene! I felt half annoyed with Rainie for not opening up, and half annoyed with Nick for pushing her. It sounds like she needs someone like him around to help move her forwards. :D
ReplyDeleteThanks, glad you liked it. Being annoyed with both of them was exactly what I was going for, so it's great you felt that. :D
DeleteLovely scene, and so true to life. My husband is 8 years younger than me, and I've seen the difference between his open-eyed enthusiasm and my more measured scepticism towards life. Lovely sense of character and natural dialogue.
ReplyDeleteThank you, glad you enjoyed it, and thought I captured the characters and their age difference well.
DeleteThis felt so real. Nice excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThanks for participating in our blogfest!
Thank you. And thanks for hosting, you're doing an excellent job. :)
DeleteThat's a great scene and Nick sounds pretty hot. I think there's something hypnotic about pink cupcakes. They hold the promise of delicious strawberry flavoring.
ReplyDeleteThanks, glad you enjoyed it. I think there's something hypnotic about any cupcakes! LOL
DeleteReally great. Loved their differences. This excerpt felt like it was pulled out of everyday life. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm pleased to hear you liked it. :D
DeleteWonderful dialogue! Nick sounds hot, but like a good guy! Works for me!
ReplyDeleteThanks, pleased to hear you liked it. Hot and being a good guy is a dangerous combination! ;)
DeleteNow I want to eat lots of Rainie's cupcakes with pink frosting. Seriously though, you could feel how hard it was for her to open up, and how she didn't think someone Nick's age would get her. But I bet he does...at least, I really, really want him to! Nice job Clare.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jay! I really want cupcakes now! LOL I think you summed up my intentions with that scene perfectly. :D
DeleteThe scene and conversation felt so natural. I very much enjoyed it. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, pleased to hear you enjoyed it. :)
DeleteAs stated above... this scene felt so real, as if it would have actually happened and didn't feel fictional at all.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with us! I'm so glad you did!
Thank you, that's a really excellent compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.
DeleteThank you for hosting this fest, you're doing an awesome job. :D
This really was true to life, and so well written... thank you for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of the comments above. I think the voice of your writing is very natural and true to life. Your characters felt real. Great excerpt.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm pleased you enjoyed it, and that's a great compliment. :D
DeleteSee, now I want to know the rest of the story, and this isn't my normal genre. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteNow I have a craving for cupcakes. Of course, I almost always have a craving for cupcakes.
ReplyDeleteGreat scene!
Thanks. :)
DeleteI love cupcakes, especially with buttercream frosting.
This was fantastic, it felt so natural. Great use of dialogue. I hope they sort it out!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes...now I want a cupcake.
Thank you, I'm pleased you liked it. :D
DeleteYou lured me in with "Get your hand off those"--I just had to keep reading to see what that was about.
ReplyDeleteGood scene and nice dialog.
Now, can I have one of those cupcakes?
Lee
An A to Z Co-Host
Tossing It Out
That's excellent to hear, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it and it pulled you in.
DeleteIf I had cupcakes I'd gladly give you one. ;)
Heh, I'm just like Arlee. You'll always lure me in with a line like "Get your hand off those."
DeleteNow where can I get these cupcakes?
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. :D
Delete