Romantic Friday Writers: Challenge No 45


Today I saw that Candilynn Fite had taken part in Donna Hole and Denise Covey's Romantic Friday Writers Challenge, and decided to have a crack myself. Candilynn wrote an excellent poem about envy, you should check it out

Here's what Donna Hole and Denise Covey had to say about the Romantic Friday Writers Challenge.
  
Romantic Friday Writers: Challenge No 45- Oh How I Hate My Beautiful Friend!

Your story. Your poem. Your way. All we ask is that you keep it under 400 words and include a romantic element. 

Challenge open to all! Just write your story/poem, post to your blog, copy the DIRECT link, submit your link at the bottom of the linky.
Linky will close Sunday evening AEST time. Contact Denise at den.covey@gmail.com if you have any problems linking.
Read/comment on as many entries as you can over the weekend. Return on Wednesday for the Wrap Up post and mini critique on all entries.

Click here to sign up yourself.

Here's my offering, a 395 piece entitled Someone Notices Me.

Someone Notices Me
I haven’t always hated Brooke. When we were both scrawny kids with scrapes on our knees, and dirt on our clothes, she was my comrade, my sister in arms against the kids from across the street.
Now I wonder if she remembers those days at all.
My eyes linger on her as she bats her eyelashes, tosses her long blonde hair, and smiles her perfect smile; teeth pearly white behind glossy lips.
All eyes are on her. No one sees me, plain old Jessica. I might as well be invisible.
Brooke’s transformation from weedy kid with pigtails had been like the ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan. Mine had been less kind.
Taller than average, with athletic legs and a flat chest, the only time I get attention is on the basketball court. At a party like this, I’m practically unseen.
The guys laugh, Brooke giggles, and I go on being ignored. I don’t even know why I’m at this stupid party. Brooke doesn’t need me here, and no one else would notice if I left, but something compels me to stay. I must be a masochist.
I feel a presence beside me, and turn to see Jake – star of the football team – sitting beside me with two red Dixie cups in his hands.
“Hey,” he greets with a grin. “I got you a Coke.”
“Thanks,” I say, taking the offering.
“I saw your basketball game last night, you were terrific.”
I wonder if this is some new attempt to get into Brooke’s pants, by befriending her dorky pal, but I smile and accept the compliment. “Thanks.”
“How long have you been playing?”
All my life, I’ve always loved basketball. “Just this year.” I never had the confidence to join the team before.
“Impressive, you’re more talented than some of the most experienced players on the team.”
My cheeks flush. No one has ever paid me this much attention before. I look at Jake, all muscles, dark hair and dimples, and catch him staring at me. He’s the only guy in the room not focusing on Brooke; I have his undivided attention as he gazes into my eyes.
His blue eyes sparkle as he takes my hand and asks, “Hey Jess, wanna go to the movies with me tomorrow?”
For the first time in my life, someone notices me. “Yeah, okay.”


24 comments:

  1. Thanks for the huge shout out, Clare. :)) My poem wasn't all that, but it did lift me out of a lull. I had fun writing it!

    I enjoyed your flash piece, and adore your character Jessica. I love how she snagged the attention of Jake. Great job on the challenge, and I hope you sign up for more!! They're great for the creative process and exercise.

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    1. You're welcome! I liked it a lot, I thought the feelings were very real and true to life, and it's excellent that writing it pulled you out of a lull.

      Thank you, I'm glad you liked my flashfic, and the character of Jessica. :)

      I agree, this challenge is an excellent way to get the creative juices flowing.

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  2. Very nice flash fiction, Clare. I could empathize with the gal wanting notice.

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    1. Thanks Mary, glad you enjoyed it. I think we've all been that girl at some point in our lives.

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  3. Clare,

    Love that Jessica stayed at the party and found a friend. Nice ending!

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    1. Thank you, glad you liked it. :D

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  4. LOVED it. *sigh* to Jake. I could picture him so clearly.
    Great voice for Jessica!

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    1. Thanks Jackie. Glad you enjoyed it, and that you liked Jessica's voice. :D

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  5. Hi Clare
    Oh, a happy ending. I felt her frustration. So nice the star quarterback noticed her. Well written. welcome to RFW.
    Nancy

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    1. Thanks for the compliments Nancy, I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. :D

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  6. Welcome to RFW Clare! Lovely to have you this challenge and maybe you'll join us again. Yes, Candilynn's entry was great, a change for her to write poetry for us.
    I love your take on the theme. The old, old story of the more beautiful friend. Her uncertainty,her doubt, blown away by the coming date. A lovely resolution after all the negative emotion.

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    1. Thanks for the warm welcome, Denise, and for having me in the challenge. :D

      Thanks for the compliments, I'm pleased you enjoyed my piece. :D

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  7. Ah, this was my type of story :) I love when the "underdog wins"!

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    1. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. :D

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  8. Hi, Clare,

    So many of us have that PERFECT friend .... The one who is ALWAYS in the background, holding the bags, or watching the coats. Nice to see that she has her turn as being the center of attention. It only take one special person for that ... not a roof full.

    Nicely written flash fiction piece.

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    1. Thank you. I think we've all been that person once in our lives, and it's nice to think our time in the spotlight (as it were) will eventually come.

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  9. This was awesome Clare. I loved the back story on the childhood friendship, and then the changes as they "developed". Excellent characters and setting. I liked the sweet ending too.

    Thanks for participating with RFW this week Clare.

    ....dhole

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    1. Thanks for having me, Donna! And thank you for the compliments on my piece, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

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  10. Hi Clare,

    Oh, very nice piece! Lovely ending, too. ;)

    best
    F

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  11. Hi Clare,

    Love stories about ugly ducklings finally finding their place as swans. Enjoyed your story much.

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    1. Hey Nilanjana!

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much. :D

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  12. Dear Clare,
    Nice story. Good description of how children's friendships change as they grow up. I've just seen a similar thing with my daughter.
    I like the happy ending too.
    Good work!
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    RFW No. 45 - 'Oh how I hate my beautiful friend'

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    1. Thank you Anna, I'm glad you liked the story. Though I'm sorry your daughter had to go through it; I experienced something similar growing up, and it's never fun.

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Thank you for taking the time to read this entry, and comment. I really appreciate it.